I Love Reality Television and I Don't Care Who Knows It.

There's a sense of insecurity shrouding reality television and its audience. Nearly everyone watches it in some form, but no one is willing to admit it. I'm here to tell you that I love it. And I'm not just talking about American Idol or Top Chef. I genuinely enjoy kicking back and watching Jersey Shore and, yes, even The Bachelor from time to time. Let me explain:

I'll start with the more embarrassing of the two; The Bachelor. I don't watch it routinely, but my girlfriend and her friends have seemed to enjoy it for quite some time. For a long time, I refused to subject myself to it. When they turned it on, I would I would be gone before Chris Harrison had a chance to let even one douche-bag word out. But one night, after about six beers, the cost of having to move from the couch was too great, even if that meant I was subjecting myself to half an hour of torture. It became apparent very quickly however, that by refusing to watch this show, I had only been depriving myself of a wonderful entertainment opportunity for years.

From the first time the The Asshole, I mean The Bachelor said "I'm here to find true love", I knew I was on to something. And there is no better word to describe the women "looking for love" on that show than "amazing." I have to admit though, a little piece of me dies every time The Asshole says something like "Thank you for opening up to me, for making yourself vulnerable." Are these chicks completely naive, or have they really convinced themselves that a self-respecting man would say something like that after knowing someone for two days, if ever? It's as if they force these guys to read all of Nicholas Sparks' books and watch all of Richard Gere's shitty romantic movies before they come on the show.

Let's pretend that they picked a real man to be The Bachelor. I think it would go a little more like this:
Woman #1: I am so madly in love with you.
Bachelor: Totally. I'm in love with me too.
Woman #1: I know I've only known you for a day, but it feels like a lifetime.
Bachelor: I couldn't agree more. Do you want a sandwich?
Woman #1: I may be moving too fast, but I just want to share everything with you.
Bachelor: Well I've got a lot to give. And since you're into sharing, why don't we invite a couple of the other girls over.

Now that would be a show!

(Note: More on reality tv, including Jersey Shore, tomorrow)